Girls mature faster than boys.
Most everyone has heard that before. In some cases it applies to more than just the physical growth, but encompasses mental and emotional maturity as well. It's a reality in my life for sure, as I feel pangs of guilt and embarrassment when I think about the person I sometimes was as a teenager. Not that I was a terrible kid mind you, but I certainly wasn't the type of kid I would want to be remembered as.
It's very true that we tend to not appreciate things until they are gone. I think back on some of the opportunities I was presented with in my younger days and how I didn't realize how special some of those situations were. I had the chance to make some great friends, yet often didn't put forth the effort. I had the fortune of being taught by some of most wonderful teachers, yet chose to not listen, being more interested in those immensely important facets of teenage life. It was cooler to be a smart-ass than to be an actively engaged young person. *Sigh*
This feeling isn't new. I've thought about the same things and felt the same way for a few years at least, but it usually is prompted by by thinking back to those times in wondering what type of impression I left on someone. Which is kind of interesting because for years I've loved the idea of being the person who didn't care what others thought about them. I've even played that part for the better part of two decades, but I think the mask has finally worn out.
The truth is I do care, but most of these mistakes are in the past. I don't think I was capable of caring at the time, or even having remorse for those misses in my life. I guess I needed to grow up, and I think I’ve done that to some degree. I still have issues for sure, but I’ve certainly changed quite a bit from my teenage days. Heck, I’ve changed so much since my mid 20s. I suppose this is what life is about... growing. I mean if we aren’t growing we’re dying right?
That’s my excuse then. The longer it takes for me to “grow up,” the longer I get to live.
"If we aren’t growing we’re dying right?" Well said... I think you are a wonderful person and I definatly enjoyed reading this post. Your mind is great and what really matters is that you are happy, not to think too much about being happy but just being happy. I look forward to your next post!
ReplyDeleteAs a young person who feigned nonchalance to the point of seeming intimidating or cold, I was, internally, exactly the opposite: I feared so much what someone would say or do or think of me that I did practically none of the things I wanted.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet I find, in the here and now, I'm in much the same boat. The past is the past, and I'm still growing up, too.
Deidra